As I recall my childhood - the part where my real father was alive - I remember yelling, laughter, enjoyable parties, etc. I have been trying to instill all the good parts of my childhood onto my children. Having people around that are good, positive influences - people they will remember for the rest of their lives. I try to introduce them to new things as often as possible. I want to reward them with ice cream, and delicious goodies -because I have good children. Really good children, as I've witnessed some bad ones.
But WHY oh WHY do those bad genes sneak in no matter how hard to try to leave them with your parents. I am finding myself yelling a lot. Both my parents have/had the WORST tempers. I guess I'm doomed given the last sentence. I try to reason with my children without losing my temper, but I feel like they just blow me off and don't pay attention. Oh, it gets my blood boiling. I remember my dad saying he was about to blow and now 30+years later - I totally get it.
I am trying to be conscientious and not yell as much. But with Marko being gone as much as he has been lately, I think I have reached my mom-temper limit.
Being a stay at home Mom is amazing. But ...having no break in a long, very long, day is difficult - for anyone. If your favorite job in the world was being an ice cream taster at Baskin-Robbins, you would still need some sort of break from ice cream, right? As wonderful and delicious as it is, you can't do it all day every day. That's how I am starting to feel, and I don't want to feel like that. Is it the summer? Is it doing it all by myself day in and day out? I am fortunate to have Marko home a LOT but nonetheless, when he's gone he's GONE.
With all the technology today, I would like to do some gene-modification. Remove all the bad ones, the ones that can scar a child for life, and replace them with the ability to try new things and have a positive outlook on life. Is that too much to ask?
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